Handle With Care: Gentleness

Handle With Care: Gentleness

Let your gentleness be known of all men. The Lord is near.  - Philippians 4:5

When parcels are shipped from one place to another, some parcels are labeled FRAGILE: HANDLE WITH ARE.  The sign is a warning to handle the parcels with care to avoid damaging the contents. The assumption is that the people and equipment handling the parcel have strength that exceeds the limit the parcel can withstand. Those handling the parcels have to do so not according to their full strength but in ways and measure of strength, the parcels can bear.   The strength is moderated to what is necessary and sufficient to achieve the goal of securely shipping the parcel. In other words, their strength must be under control. The terms for strength under control used in the Bible are gentleness or meekness.  

Every person on the face of earth can do with a ‘Handle with Care’ sign on him or her, because people are easily hurt if handled carelessly. People wield sufficient strength to hurt one another physically, and emotionally. No wonder, the Bible many times exhorts believers to be gentle with one another (Philippians 4:5).  'But  the fruit  of the Spirit  is  love, joy , peace , long suffering , gentleness , goodness , faithfulness gentleness, and  self-control, against  such there is  no  law. (Galatians 5:22-23)'.  In addition, Ephesians 4:2 says, "Be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each others' faults because of your love."  Another scripture is Titus 3:2, 'To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, showing all meekness to all men.' 

Being gentle is not being demanding, abrasive and coercive. It is being selfless in use of advantage, power, position, and privilege.  It includes being willing to listen, to explain, and to be patient with another. It is being careful that one’s conduct affects the other person and your mutual interests positively.  Gentleness is making choices about another considerately and with the goal to be winsome. It is speaking or acting in a way that lives the relationship stronger. Sadly, often people win arguments and lose their relationships.

Imagine what would happen if God dealt with humanity carelessly. Being all powerful He has to  handle humanity with utmost gentleness. Just a careless drop of His hand can crush planet earth to nothing. Just a careless wave of His hand can sweep people off the universe to unknown emptiness in an instant. However, out of love, He chooses to put His power under control to produce benefit not harm. God is love and gentleness is a vital mark of love. In 2 Samuel 22:36 David acknowledged the elevating impact of God's gentleness in his life, 'Thou hast also given me the shield of thy salvation: and thy gentleness hath made me great '. God is gentle (Psalm 18:35; 2 Corinthians 10:1; Mathew 11:29; 21:5). 'Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me: for I am meek and lowly in heart; and ye shall find rest to your souls (Mathew 11:29). 

It is amazing how gentleness in speech and actions can promote harmonious relationships. A colleague shared how things did not seem to go well in his marriage. Beginning of one year as he made his personal development plans he asked his wife for one thing he could work on that year to make her happier. She thought for a little while. She had heard lots of ‘I love yous' from her husband already. She was longing for love in a different word - gentleness. She said he should just work on being gentle. He decided to evaluate and set goals to improve how he spoke to her, how he responded to her and handled her generally. A miracle happened by year-end. It was as if they were happily married all over again. Beginning of the following year, he asked again for something to work on. She said just keep working on the area of gentleness. The following year it was the same and their marriage life was greatly transformed positively. Faithfully walking in gentleness works wonders in other relationships such as parental and team relationships.

Words you speak are one area to pay close attention to in seeking to be gentle (Ephesians 4:29). Proverbs 31:6 says of the virtuous woman, ‘She opens her mouth with wisdom. The law of kindness is in her mouth.’ The tongue is a small organ but can affect the whole life. ‘Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!  And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire from hell.  For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of animals in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed by mankind:  But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.  With this we bless God, even the Father; and with this we curse men, who are made after the similitude of God.  Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be ( James 3:6,8).

We have all been disappointed at some point. The issue is not only about words you speak but also how you respond to words spoken to you. Gentleness is response under control. It is being responsible or response-able. When someone disappoints you or offends you, how do you respond? I have heard people saying someone was calm and composed but on hearing provocative words 'lost it' or 'came off the hook'. Gentleness is staying on the hooks and requires grace for the failures, wrongs and weaknesses of others. Not every potential battle is worth fighting.  Some issues can be energy wasters and detractors best dealt with by simply ignoring them or not stirring them up.

Message by Dr. Kurai Chitima.

Faith Ministries – Johannesburg Faith Life Center.

Ground and First Floors Sunset Bay Building,

204B Bram Fischer drive,

Randburg, Johannesburg, South Africa