Uncommon Courage
A Message
Shared at a Real Men’s Seminar at FMUK Faith Conference 2013
By K. Chitima
My wife
and I were on holiday at Kruger Park Lodge with two of my sisters, a brother in
law and some of their children. One
morning we were relaxed outside the lodges when the woman who was cleaning our
rooms came out screaming. She had seen what she thought was a green mamba
outside the window to our bedroom we occupied. We trooped into the room. She
had closed the window. The snake had stopped moving and its head lifted a
little. It remained there unperturbed by our eyes watching from inside the
window. The woman who first saw it, told us not to attack it while she went to
report to wardens who would come and catch it.
The wardens took a while to show up. In the meantime, some left the
window. I was among those who stayed to watch any movements by the snake. Later the warden came and we all were keen to
see how he would capture the snake. He told us the snake was not a green mamba
but some harmless green snake. He did not even capture it. He scared it off and
it slipped into nearby grass and disappeared. Now came time to share about the
snake visit. My sister was all out bragging about the boldness of her husband. Apparently,
before the warden arrived my brother in law went outside and took photos of the
snake from a distance. Therefore, she sang praise of him being the real man in
the place for going outside. I automatically went into defensive mode frantically
explaining that I stayed to make sure I did not frighten the snake away and
that if it moved, we would know where to try to find it. Whatever the case, the
popular expectation was very clear. Men ought to show bravery.
The
attribute of courage is one of the most battered among men. The remnants exhibiting
it are an endangered species. If men had to bring foreskins for a bridal price,
how many would marry? David was required to bring a hundred foreskins and he
brought twice the number (1 Samuel 18:25). Saul said, Thus shall you tell
David, The king desires no dowry except one hundred foreskins of the
Philistines, to be avenged of the king's enemies. .. The days were not expired;
and David arose and went, he and his men, and killed of the Philistines two
hundred men; and David brought their foreskins, and they gave them in full
number to the king, that he might be the king's son-in-law. Saul gave him
Michal his daughter as wife.
Courage is
boldness to proceed despite the dangers or risks. Courage is willingness to
step beyond the confines of the familiar and predictable. For many people a primary
life concern is to avoid anything that could jeopardize a secure position. Why
rock the boat they ask. But courage is to venture into the unknown with no
guarantees of success. It is acting on a need seemingly greater than yourself (Joshua
1:9). It is ability to initiate solutions. It is being willing to take a
positive stand even when the stand is against the current of popular opinion.
Increasingly
a new species of men afraid to appreciate their masculinity is rising up (Cole 1985).
Many are gender emasculated like bulls castrated for use as beast of burden
that pull the scotch carts and the ploughs. They are insecure, insipid and
settle for mediocrity. Such men are unable to assume responsibility, make decisions,
provide good leadership and balance roaring for defense and kindness for care. Several
factors contribute to this negative trend. Many are afraid to be termed male
chauvinists. Some have been raised by single mothers or in conditions of
absentee fathers. Yet others spend most
of life still determining whether they are male or female. They cannot live the
one just in case they are the other.
Some are over careful not to breach some gender and children protection
law of the 21st C. Others
have failed to become breadwinners and so feel inadequate as they rely on their
wives to do everything. Some who are believers have failed to understand
spirituality to mean being weak.
The challenges of our day call for men who can show uncommon
courage. In days past a man went
out to kill a lion or fight a band of violent invaders and bring their heads or
fore skins. Not many men are soldiers
anymore. For most men the opportunities to show courage are in areas as below.
Men ought
to show courage in loving their wives and expressing it in words and deeds. Men
and women were created different. When God created a man, he gave him a job.
When he created a woman, he gave her a husband, a person. So generally men are
more fulfilled by achieving tasks while women by healthy relationships. A man
is devastated when he fails to achieve a job while what devastate a woman are
failed relationships, especially with husband. Women breathe love and failure
to make your wife feel loved by frequently communicating it is woman slaughter.
God knowing women would need love must have deposited immense capacity to love
in men. Part of the responsibility of a husband is to tell his wife that he
loves her. Keeping the sentiments inside is not enough. When Eve was presented
to Adam, he said something. It needs to come out. A friend called this lyrics.
Instrumentation alone will not do, include lyrics in the love rhythm.
Men ought also
to show courage in parenting. Men ought to show courage in stepping out to win
bread, provide direction and fend for their families. In doing so, they need to
neglect providing personal attention to their children. Most children caught up
in crime grew up without fathers at home. The primary provision children need
from fathers is time with them. Children need not just time for instruction or
business but time to be listened to and understood. Time to see a model and not
just told theory. Children need parents who serve as covering that facilitates
dreams and not a lid that limit.
Men ought
to take the lead in showing moral courage to stand for what is good on issues
that affect society. When they encounter opposition, disapproval and contempt, they
remain faithful to their values on issues such as sex, drugs, occult, lying,
cheating, stealing, etc. The postmodern business and professional world can be
an amoral environment, ruled by “situational ethics”. Many do whatever it takes
to close the deal. Standing for one’s convictions is not easy. It takes a
willingness to challenge the status quo. Such times require courage to stay true to
high standards of behavior and practice. “…Stand firm. Let nothing move you.
Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that
your labor in the Lord is not in vain” (1 Corinthians 15:58).
Men ought to
show courage not to give up. When expectations fall short, it can be easy to
give up. At such times, the courage to persevere, to remain focused on the
objective, is essential. “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the
proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9). Champions
are those who never quit.
Reclaiming and strengthening courage as a
Christian man:
Men like
Mordecai, Joseph, and Daniel served in harsh situations but did not divert from
trusting in God. Resolve to be all that God made you to be (Deuteronomy 31:6-8;
Joshua 1:6-9; Isaiah 41:10; Jeremiah 29:11).
>>Saturate
your heart with God’s word. Honor God in public and private.
>>Walk
in the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit gives the courage to live and stand for
godly values.
>>Ask
God for courage in prayer (Acts 4:29)
>>Set
up an accountability circle of godly people around your life. Determine
carefully the people you allow to inspire and examine your life.
Reflection/Discussion Questions
1.
How
do you exhibit courage in daily actions and decisions in your professional work
in the 21st century environment?
What has worked easily and what has been hard?
2.
Can
you share an example of when you found it necessary in the performance of your
job to take a bold stand that required courage?
3.
Share
an incident that threatened your marital fidelity or sexual purity and how you
managed?
Reference:
Cole,
Edwin Louis. Courage: Winning Life’s Toughest Battles. Watercolor Books, 1985.
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